There is so much we don’t know. There is this idea that a skill set will only get you so far. When you lose the ability to make money with that skill, you will be done. Acquiring more skills is vital, and staying tech-savvy is just as vital. But it is difficult for me, on a personal level, to interact with all of that. Skillets I want to acquire are those which are not taught in too many schools. And another issue that I have is that I will only truly put forth the effort if I am engaged and interested. Otherwise – and I am not saying this cannot change – I simply don’t care enough to do something about anything. I am not enjoying that part of my being. It is one which has gotten me into tons of trouble in my youth and even now. But it is so very difficult to disengage from old patterns and habits and reactions. I can’t stress how awful it feels to witness it from inside and outside. And many times, it is arrogance which begets ignorance. Sad but true. And it is certainly true myself. I am interested in gaining more knowledge, but it frightens and incapacitates me at times, to see just how little I know about money and financial independence.
Thankfully, I am still young, but that won’t last forever. The biological clock isn’t the only thing that is ticking inside me. There are so many more questions to be clarified and answered (if possible). So I am adopting – have adopted – a technique which is known as “UNTIL!”. I will do the work until I get it. I will learn and read the books until it makes sense. I will put myself through what I can until things click into place. I will watching motivational videos until I am actually on the way to new development, new growth, and better futures. People are always talking to me about using my potential, or rather about my misuse of it. I went through a box of old elementary and high-school report cards recently, and they were all filled with the same thing: good work but try harder, realize your potential.
I am hopeful, but a tad fearful. I want to be excited about the future, not dreading it. I want to be the one who shapes, moves, and shakes my reality. I just hope there is more resolve than fear. Time will tell.
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